Your product's no snoozefest.

What about your emails?

Have me write your next batch.

“One of the best sales copywriters I've worked with in over 15 years in the industry. We’ve seen a big uptick in sales since adopting your punchy, humorous and direct tone."— David Harfield, Pepperstorm Media

You're here for one thing. Probably.

I interrupted your day with a cold email.Sorry about that.Well, now you're here...Why not see if I'm onto something?But first, let's make sure you are in the right place.

What Is This? Who's It For?

Let's Give Those Emails
Some Blood and Guts

Details when you click.All copy delivered 10 business days after processing your post-purchase survey.

Take your pick.

Welcome Flow

Broadcast Pack

5-Day Campaign

Monetize Your Newsletter
(And Only Pay When You Get Sponsors)

If you write a newsletter for your own email list, I can help connect
you with the right businesses.And, you can stay focused on what you enjoy while I handle the whole sponsorship process.

How It Works

1. Get in touch and tell me about your newsletter

2. I'll research the most relevant businesses and pitch them on your audience

3. If they agree to a placement, I take a commission only on successful deals

(Sponsors also welcome — contact me to reach niche audiences).

"Joe’s ads have been killer out the gate. He gave a nice boost to our annual revenue and was great in getting everything sorted. We’re only just getting started, so every single customer counts. Your set up went above beyond and we're delighted with the results. Look forward to the next one.”– Harry Jones, NightBoss

“Joe conducted market research and supported us end-to-end. He is very attentive and approachable. We never had issues communicating with him, even after the successful delivery of the project when follow-up requests came out. We certainly hope to work with him again in the future."– Hristo G, Gaulport Capital

Get started today

Just fill out the form and I'll get back to you if I can help.Oh, and please be sure to include your:1. Subscriber count
2. Average open rate
3. Average click through rate

AboutI started this service for one simple reason:
Email is the last corner of the internet that isn’t owned by an algorithm — and it’s about to become the most valuable.Every platform is getting noisier, more regulated, more pay-to-play.
Every brand is fighting the same shrinking attention spans.
And yet… newsletters keep growing.
Why?
Because people actually choose to read them.That’s why I built this agency: to connect great newsletters with great brands — without the corporate fluff, bloated retainers, or “spray and pray” marketing that’s drowning the rest of the industry.My mission is simple:
Help independent creators earn what their audience is worth, and help brands reach real humans who actually care.

The Email Underground Bazaar

Join the list for access updates.

CART UN–UNABANDONER

3 cart abandon emails that bring lost customers back.£500 flat. Delivered in 3 days.

Email Copy

Do you want to bore your list to an early grave with AI slop and weak discounts?Then go almost anywhere but here.

But if you're the kind of business who wants a rocksteady relationship with their list...Who gets why raw copy beats sexy designs...And, most importantly, are not afraid of a little fun...Perhaps I can help.

Work with me

My name's Anthony and I'm an email copywriter.I'm helping a few select niches get direct and effective with their emails...Like self-reliance, privacy, hip-hop and more casual eCom brands.

If you need someone like me onside (and if we're a good fit), you can hire me for:

  • Broadcast emails -- Regular, entertaining, and useful stories

  • Sales campaigns -- with a living, breathing narrative behind them

  • Automation squences -- Fresh, original flows that work while you sleep

For more info, do the form -- I'll soon get back with some questions.

& How To Dodge It

Do you want to bore your list to an early grave with AI slop and weak discounts?Then go almost anywhere but here.Because that seems to be the done thing these days.I’m not here to convince you why that’s a dumb thing to do.If you already get why, and want to do something about it, here’s a good place to start:

1. Cancel your ChatGPT subscription
2. Remember how humans talk
3. Write your emails like that (but make it fun)
4. Add some copywriting sauce

And then what do you wind up with?

  • Regular, entertaining, episodic stories

  • Campaigns with a living, breathing narrative behind them

  • Fresh, original flows that work while you sleep

All done and dusted...

One Day Soon

Now, maybe you’d rather hire someone than go to the hassle yourself.Maybe, one day, that someone will be me (Anthony).So for now, while you make your mind up, why not join my list?After all, if corporate emails give you acid reflux… and you’d rather set your head on fire than send one out yourself…You’ll feel right at home.Once you’re in, you will get:

  • Violent teardowns of the most heinously boring emails

  • Email tips you won't find on a Mailchimp blog

  • Odd "insights" baked in odd stories

  • Chin-scratching ‘would-you-rathers’ (Irrelevent, yes. But I need an outlet)

  • The opportunity to join forces on your next email venture

If nothing else, you’ll get a kick out of it.And if you don’t even get that, you can always bounce.In any case, you can join the list here:

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